Everybody has two faces. One in the open, and one in the dark. The one which is out in the open, is nothing but full of fake smiles and fake comments and such. Nothing is real there. No one realizes this until the people I talk about, become memory. This is the world we live in, people.
But let’s talk about a specific person here. I won’t take his name, but you will guess who is he, most probably.
That man, he is a desperate man. He can control everything yet he can control nothing at the same time. He has got so much power yet he still thinks what others think of him. He lost his only best friend a year ago from now, that he was so lost in the moments, he wanted to vent out his anger somewhere. He joined gym, to keep him in check in terms of anger management. He is so lost in his own world, he has grown to be so much that he doesn’t even give a fuck about what others think about him. I remember when he was so full of smile and happiness, while he was with his so called best friend. The moment he lost him, I never saw him cry. I never saw his real smile, the one he had. He killed some part of his, the weak part. His mentality changed. His friend circle changed. He became distant. He longs for peace yet, he only finds anguish in every step he takes. He looks so brave and confident on the outside, but he still is a coward and scared kid on the inside. He still have breakdowns about his best friend, yet he tells nobody. I told you, he is scared in the inside, but he tells no one. Nobody gives a fuck anyway, so nothing to tell them.
Once, there was a time when we used to play so much, had fun. That time is long gone and lost. Time either evolves or devolves people. I can’t tell what to call him, but he only does what is best for him. When he cared, he was used. He killed himself, broke himself, into million tiny pieces, impossible to find. Yet, he is still rebuilding, recovering from everything he has faced. He has so much wealth, by the grace of God, yet he still wants more. He is a foolish man, yet the world around him deems him to be a good man. Nobody shows the real colors, but when anybody does, they don’t care who is hurt. But this man, is a different one. He takes revenge with a smile on his face, without knowing its consequences. He deserves so much yet he deserves nothing. Every time he goes to the gym, he realizes how weak he is, and how much stronger he needs to get. As he says, he always remembers every single time he cried, he dries up his tears in the gym, puts his body through literal Hell, and yet still comes back in one piece.
His master, taught him to be like that. He never wanted to be like this, yet he still chose the hardest way possible. Is he foolish? I don’t think so. He chose the part I wanted him to choose. He has friends he trust, but still he doesn’t tell what is really going on inside of him. He says he hasn’t cried since his best friend tragedy, yet I know him very well. He cries every night, deep inside, because he has thousand regrets. A thousand reasons to kill himself, because he has done much worse things. Not a single reason to live in this hellish world. Yet, he still lives on, keeping his tears inside.
i remember very well when one time he slashed his forearm with a knife. 5 slashes to be exact. The pain he felt, the nightmares which came rushing down to him. His blood dripping down from his forearm, yet still having a smile on his face. A terrifying person indeed, yet he did not knew, the nightmares which will haunt him throughout his life. Such a coward who wanted to end his life then and there, yet he couldn’t. Such a failure to even end his life? Pathetic.
This man, whom I talk of, is a scary man sometimes. When he was dead-depressed with his life, he told himself if he wanted to suicide, at least get a six-pack first. It’s better to die with a good personality than a weak assed skinny bitch. But, as soon as he started doing the six pack, his mind began to change in ways I could not imagine. He strayed from his path, the true reason why he joined gym.
He doesn’t want to see his family depressed, so he lives. Through his hell, which he created on his own. The demons invited him in their place, but this man thought that place was too easy. He made his own custom hell outta nowhere. Just another greedy bastard.
Tears dried up, pain amplified, body broken, mind full of regrets and anger, but heart still soft. He can’t control his heart, but he told that he will be Steel-Hearted. And yet, he is such a weak person that he can’t even change his heart. What a kiddo!
He is a man, who needs somebody, yet needs no one. That is a sign of a true warrior, yet he still doesn’t take any credit because nobody will understand anyway. He has to change himself, punish himself even more to become the man he wants to become. Fly so high, so that you don’t even listen to the ones who are calling out to you. His vision is true.
He says he wants to cry, in the arms where he can lie without any tension. Yet, it might be in distant future, he is sure. He does not have any time to cry, he is so addicted to business. I despise him, he has been through so much yet he still does not break. That is what is showed on the outside, but I know him very well. He has been broken thousand times, yet he still manages to rebuild himself. There is a special place for him, in a place called Hell. And he says, he is about to disappear, again. His soul is at peace when he is all alone, he can truly be himself. When he is alone, at least he knows he is with someone trusted. He should be put in the worst category, yet he still lives somehow.
By the way, you would have guessed who he is by now. You can describe me as the other face of the man in the blog. His untold side.