You have no enemies. Every person you meet throughout your life just teaches you lessons. Look at the mirror. The only enemy you have in your entire life is present there.
Nobody has any enemies. They only create a mirrage in their brains because they meet some people who are better than them. Instead of surpassing them, everyone rushes to beat them. There are so many things which can be solved rather than Revenge. Because this is what I realized, I can’t control my past, nor the future, but the present is definitely in my grasp.
If I compare myself in 6 months, things have changed rapidly. Because these 6 months have been a life changer for me. I could easily tell what I did before these 6 months, the previous year, it was all the same. Being same every time, everyone gets bored, no matter how much hype. Things got to change gradually. That’s where my story kicks in. That’s right, let’s talk what happened in these 6 months.
Gym. February 2022, was the time I joined gym. First time, why? As usual, why does anybody join gym? There are only two reasons. First, is because of a breakup, which ignites the fire in the heart of anybody who has been through a heartbreak, usually the best fireup. Second, because they think they are too weak to protect others, yet, themselves. Frankly speaking, I fall in the second category.
First time in the gym, I was so scared and anxious because I did not know anybody. Everybody looked so muscly, like they have been workout-ing for years! They looked scary though. I walked through the crowds to find the trainer to help me guide. My legs were shaking, I felt like vomiting, because I was never used to such large crowds. I was shy because I thought people will make fun of me every time. Everyone looked at me, sometimes laughed. I needed a change, and that is what I got. After 6 months (current time), I changed my gym. But things changed so far apart. That time, when my legs were shaking… That time was such an embarrassment. This time, I walked with my chest wide. Looked in everyone’s eyes while they were looking at me while workout. Legs were not shaky, they were ready to kick some ass. Sleeves rolled up, Laces tied. I walked past every single person in the room. Even though my structure did not widen or anything, but I did not look the same as before at this point. I walked like a king, or I walked like I did not give a fuck who the king is.
Stop being afraid of diving in dark waters. Only those who are bold enough to try it, are going to find the deepest treasures.
I remember someone asked me, ‘Have you ever looked death direct in the eyes? Because if not, then you will never grow’. I was too scared to answer that question, but through the experiences I had, every moment when I thought I could not do this anymore, I remembered this exact question. And now, I can say clearly the answer. ‘Yes, I have looked DEATH direct in the eyes. And the funny thing is, it was staring back at me. Because it thought I would be a worthy opponent’.
If they are not talking shit about your dreams, then your dreams are not big enough.
People confronted me, saying I can never build a better body. Guess what, motherfuckers. Who you see right here is the one who has proved everyone wrong within 5 months. EVERYBODY. You think you gon’ have a beef with me, that’s alright. I always like tough opponents to deal with, not everyday shit where everything is nice and easy.
You can’t finesse me. You just burning a bridge you gone need again.
I always choose to dive in deep waters. Specifically, if I were to chose easy or hard way, I always like the hard ones. They tear you up from head to toe, take away everyone you love, everything you ever loved, smash you into pieces again and again and again. It is like a limitless pit. But what’s different? You are that 1% who just had gone through hell and came back alive, you gon’ beat everybody with none standing in your way. You can dream anything and you can achieve that. There is no limit.
Pain really changes people. Some become cold, some become silent, but me, I just go ghost.
I did gym mostly to vent out my anger. To punish myself for what I had done. Everything. Every fuckin time I go to the gym, I remember how weak I am. How weak I was that day. This boosts my adrenaline so strong, no one will ever witness this. I suddenly remember, how weak I was because I couldn’t confess my feelings to her. How weak I was because I couldn’t save him. I would have done a thousand times better, only if I was stronger. I had already lost the count, how many times I punched myself for this. But now, I found a better way to hurt myself. I vent out everything on my body, because I am weak.
I had so many people tell me that I am only hurting myself more. Even my closest ones told me to stop. In everyone’s mind, I was just hurting myself. Okay, I might be hurting myself, but it isn’t for nothing. I remember, because nobody was there with me that day. Nobody can understand what I felt through. Letting him go like this JUST because I couldn’t sort it out with the family. Just imagine, letting the only one who knows you better than anybody, go. Like, why couldn’t I stop anyone? Was it because of physical strength? Mental strength? Money? Fame? Power? Or JUST THE FUCKING HIERARCHY. I didn’t know, but I know very, very clear what it is now. I see it all clearly now. It was all of the above. Fucking everything! I did not have anything that time, but trust me, it is only a matter of time before I fuck everybody up. Stopping my thoughts is not easy, my revenge is not just walk in the desert. It’s the fucking mountain ahead. Every time I stop because I am tired, I remember how weak I am. I haven’t achieved anything, yet I was chilling. Every thing becomes crystal clear once you have a clear focus on the goal. I will beat everybody. Voices inside my head get louder and louder everytime I remember his voice. Remember what I did to me. Remember what regrets are still lingering. Voices telling me not to stop, but to kick everyone’s ass.
I was a fool to let my own desires take control of me. I wanted a relationship, I got one. But it did not last, because my dreams were too far ahead of her, and she wasn’t ready to understand. Everyone around me wants to get in a relationship, even though they don’t know the consequences, they still want to to get with it. I will like it, to see how their dreams get destroyed every time. Grab a popcorn and let everything fall in place. I have my own dreams to complete. Even though it means I will have to lose everybody, God only does this because I deserve much better than them. God and me, alone, can beat the hell out of anyone.
Make it happen. Shock everybody.
Everyone said this to me – Why do you punish yourself everyday? Stop living in the past! Bruh, you haven’t even gotten out of your own past, yet you tell me to get out of mine? Mine is too deep for anyone to understand, and you can’t just talk me out with it. I already lost one, I will never, ever lose another one. May it be a human, or a dog. I will be a strong ass modafaka. I will be hard on myself every single day, even though I am just igniting my past to life. There are people I never want to become like.
I just walk in everyday, I don’t give a fuck who the king is. Once he meets me, I can assure he will respect me. Day in, Day out, time to become a fucking millionaire.